Now that it’s no longer October, and I no longer work at Spirit Halloween, I can finally yap about the incredibly strange people who came into our store. Of course, I could just talk about them, but why do that when I could rate them like store-bought products?
Anyone who left the masks wall a mess: I hope you step on a Lego. -943,875,984,759,300,029/10
That guy who got pissed over 17 cents: Immediately calmed down as soon as my male manager said the exact same thing as my female manager and I did. -948,576/10
Anyone who filmed their kids being scared by the animatronics: there’s a special place for you. -1,000/10
Anyone who refused to round up for charity, and then proceeded to pay in cash: if you refuse to round up the thirteen cents to the local children’s hospital, and then get annoyed when I give you change back, don’t bother going out into public. 0/10
The guy who told me to keep the change: not how this works, bud. Don’t see a tip jar? Then take your damn coins. 0/10
Anyone who tried to use the online-only coupon in the store: you have eyes for a reason. 0/10
The guy who paid for his purchase on eight different credit cards: incredibly rude, considering I had to put all that excess work in. Didn’t donate. 0/10
The lady who asked if we sold dog-safe makeup: what- what was she going to do with her dog…? 2/10
My friends who only came to mooch off my employee discount: eh, I get it. Late-stage capitalism sucks. 5/10
The guy who overheard me talking about me being transgender with a coworker of mine and told me I’d never be a woman: he really tried so hard, it was almost adorable. 5/10
The guy who tried to get a military discount on the six rats he bought, only to immediately say “never mind” and pay normally: weird. 9/10
The guy who bought only Ghostbusters stuff, including six Ghostbusters proton packs: having over a thousand dollars in disposable income is wild. Very polite. 9/10
The clearly inebriated guy who bought a bedazzled scythe after I made a dumb joke about being the “glam reaper”: incredible. He called me his Halloween bestie after that. 11/10
The guy who paid in cash with exact change: fantastic. I hope he wins the lottery. 1,000,000/10
The little girl who gave me a hug after I found a pair of vampire fangs that would fit her: made me run to the back to cry. 100,000,000/10
The guy who brought his 9-week dog in: lil guy was being trained to be a service dog. Cutest thing I’ve ever seen. 11,000,000,000/10
Reporter El Yardas who brought me a sandwich, chips, and a drink while I was on my shift: 587,948,576,982,379,502/10
