The Banana Banshee


Havana Garrett, Reporter

It is unclear exactly when the bananas started disappearing from the lunch line, only to reappear with black sharpie scrawled across the peel in a horrifying act of defiance. These messages terrify the population of students here at Boise High, leading them to question who is responsible for such an operation, and how this person can sleep at night. While it is highly unlikely that nobody has seen this criminal in the midst of their atrocity, it is understandable that students are  reluctant to come forward, and speak out about the horrors they have witnessed, because they do not know what the banana banshee might do to them. After all, nobody knows what this banshee is capable of.

The horrific truth of this twisted crime is that anybody could end up with a banana in their hands, only to turn it over and uncover the horror, that they too have been victimized by this serial delinquent. “It hurt my soul, finding out that someone had decided to do this.” a student, who understandably, has asked to remain anonymous said between sobs. “Just knowing, that there was someone out there that was spreading propaganda on bananas.” This person has very bravely come forward to share their story,”I just needed people to know that they aren’t alone, that this person, whoever they are, is a monster. And that we, as a school, need to stand together in this time of crisis.” One of the worst things about this particular abomination is that our villain doesn’t wear a mask. He or she walks among us, feeding on the criminality and overall taboo nature of committing an unthinkable act. Who would execute such a civil disobedience and mortal sin? Who could live with themselves after displaying such a public deviance? The answer is simply, the Banana Banshee. Nobody is safe from their clutches, and nobody will be until justice is served, and once again peace is brought to the cafeteria.