Aquarius: You’re going to create a time machine and go back in time and kill Christopher Columbus cause that boy sucks.

Capricorn: You’re gonna be a material girl and become richer than Bezos babe.

Sagittarius: You’re going to be the next comedian that Kim Kardashian dates.

Scorpio: You’re going to get stuck in the meta verse with Mark Zukerberg as your only companion. 

Libra: You are going to go to the beach and get attacked by a dolphin that is going to kidnap you and make you it’s cute little court jester. 

Aries: You are going to make a big decision about your life that is going to make you happy and result in you getting a kitten. 

Virgo: You are going to be the person that discovers the secret of Amelia Earheart.

Leo: You’re going to discover lost treasure and soon become rich in gold and friends.

Cancer: Your soulmate is an alpha male who makes you run laps when you’re upset. You will meet him soon.  

Pisces: You are going to start crying at a concert and get carried away.

Gemini: You are going to get sunburnt so bad that you become leathery and tan and live on the beach. 

Taurus: You will become a CEO of a company that makes customized toilet paper rolls