Ever since I was born, I have wanted to go to Olive Garden. I’m Chinese, so I mostly just eat American fast food and my mom’s Chinese food. I’ve had pasta like two times in my life. I was craving pasta for many days. I thought my time would come before Homecoming, but sadly it wasn’t meant to be. Then, I came up with an ingenious idea. I convinced my newspaper bros to go with me to Olive Garden. The Olive Garden outing was more than just an Olive Garden outing. It was a beautiful bonding experience. This article is an advertisement for you to join the newspaper next year. Just to be transparent, in all three years that I’ve been in News Pro, never once did we hang out outside of school. Let’s just say, I started a cultural revolution like Mao.
It was great. We all met at Boise High and Eli Butler drove everyone to Olive Garden. I’m sure it was a hoot. Sadly, I didn’t get the message, and I just went directly to Olive Garden. As we entered, everyone looked at us like we were commoners, but we knew that we were special. The food however, was not special. My food was very mediocre, and I’m pretty sure I had the best food out of everyone else. According to insider knowledge, much of Olive Garden’s food is frozen. It comes straight out of the microwave or oven. My meal was two thick sausages on top of meat sauce pasta. Who adds an entire sausage onto pasta, or two for that matter? I thought there would be small chunks of sausage. The only good thing that I really liked about Olive Garden was the raspberry lemonade. It was $3 dollars and I got free refills, so it was totally worth it. Everyone else thought that the bread sticks were delicious, but they were so mid in my opinion.
Like I said, not everyone had a good dinner. Katrina didn’t even get dinner. The poor thing can’t eat gluten, so she just had water. The other notable girl, Zelda, had a worse dinner. She forced herself to choke down five bites from her fettuccine Alfredo pasta. After that, she had a stomach ache. Eli, the tall guy from the Crucible, was fighting his inner demons, tossing and turning in his bed because his stomach hurt. He ordered a cheese ravioli sprinkled with more cheese. It was so funny when the waiter said, “tell me when” while shredding cheese onto the pasta. Everyone would say “when”. It was so goofy.
So how do you have a Thanksgiving at Olive Garden? Well, you don’t, unless you bring your friends along. When you die, the food you ate isn’t going to flash before your eyes, it’s going to be the people and your deepest regrets, so I would recommend having friends and taking them with you to places.
