We all know that our shoes label us. We walk around, blithely unaware that passersby can take a glance down at our feet and learn everything they need to know. Find out what your shoes say about you- whether you like it or not.

Converse: “I just want to be like everybody else! Is that a crime?”

Vans: “Hey, at least I’m not wearing converse.”

Doc Martens: “I want to come off as a tough person, but I am secretly afraid of hand-to-hand combat and I will only cause conflict on the internet. I like to read poetry, but have trouble understanding it.”

Running shoes:  “Yeah, I run cross country. I can sprint fifteen miles up a mountain and not break a sweat. Get over it!”

Timberland boots: “I want to be Kanye West. Unfortunately, I’m a white dude from Meridian.”

Chacos: “I’m going to wade around in the Boise River after school. I fall down pretty often, but I just laugh and get back up. I don’t bathe as often as most people.”

Birkenstocks: “I have a great relationship with my grandparents. I like granola in the mornings, but dried fruit is taking it too far.  Also, I am subconsciously expressing my need for a hug.”

Uggs: “Ugh. I am stuck in a time loop of 2012.”

Loafers: “I am a friendly guy, but I have hidden internal anger problems. I hate cat people.”

Adidas: “Whenever I get a bad grade, I tell my teachers I have made-up diseases so they’ll feel sorry for me. They never believe it.”

Skechers: “I haven’t accepted the fact that I am in high school. When I get angry, I stomp my feet, but they don’t light up.”

White New Balances: “I can cook up a couple of weenie or patties on the grill no problem.”

Air Jordans: “I can’t play basketball, but at least my parents have a lot of money.”

Cowboy boots: “Yeeehaw!”

Crocs: “I want to be my dad.”

Flip flops: “I slept through my alarm and cried a little bit in first period. I hope no one notices how weird my toes look.”

Sperry’s: “You know I had to do it to ‘em.”

Now you know who you are according to your shoes. There is nothing you can do about it, so wear those babies with pride!